Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
