this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize