She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
