Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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