So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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