Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
