The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
