Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize