just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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