So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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