Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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