I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
