just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
