Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
