I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
