Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
