its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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