I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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