I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Sober January is a disaster.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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