no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
