were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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