I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Someone signed my nipple.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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