He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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