I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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