how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize