I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
