I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
