You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
