We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize