Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
