remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish you could order shots online.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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