I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
