Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
