just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
