at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
