Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
