it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
