I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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