Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
