If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
A bitchslap is in order.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
