He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
