best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
