Where is the hickey?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will be naked everywhere
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
