How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
