I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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