..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
