Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
