So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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