i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
