So drunk its hurt
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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