I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
