I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
