dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
