Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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