She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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