i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
