these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Terrible idea I love it
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
