u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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