you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you never un-have a 4some
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
