I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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