Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
