you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
