Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
