i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
