'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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