...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
