I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
high people should be assigned attendants
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I had to cum in my sink.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
